Swing It
by Niminypiminy
Summary: The Black Order is an enigma in music-business, and Kanda is stuck being vocalist in a band with Allen, Lavi and Lenalee. A band that is named Innocence.


Er, Hi! It's my first time doing this, but I'll try my best

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

It's a rather tame (lame) fic, so the only warning would be for Kanda's potty mouth. Slightest hints of lavixkanda, for those of you who steer your ship that way. Also; plot? timeline? good writing? cool title? I do not know these words of which you speak...

Enjoy!

Swing It

The Black Order continued to be an enigma among music-business all over the world. The reason for the irritation that surfaced whenever the Order was mentioned in any important music company was that no one could put their finger on what the Black Order really _was. _It scouted for unpolished talents all over the world, and, when found, took them to the order and kept them there. What for, nobody knew, but after a few months the newly baked artists would travel around the world, giving concerts. Sometimes alone, sometimes several of the artists from the Black Order would team up and give splendid tours. Apart from this the Black Order also worked as a sort of record company, giving out records from their artists (which always sold gold, contributing to the"enigma" stamp from other music-businesses).

Interviews with anyone engaged in the order, except for the artists themselves, were rarely seen. The most successful interview had been with the high chief, Komui Lee, who, upon a question about the order, had answered:"Well, let's say that it's some kind of institution for music….oi, don't you DARE point that camera towards my precious Lenaleee!"

So the Black Order remained nothing short of a mystery, no one outside the order even knew where it was situated. However, these mystery elements probably only further increased the popularity of artists. Not that it was needed, every single one of the Orders artists were always immensely popular. No matter what kind of music it was, from Miranda Lotto's piercing performances on her grandfathers' violin, which could bring a tear to every eye, to Allen Walkers burning guitar riffs, which made teenage girls all over the world swoon, there was always an audience to appreciate and adore every artist. To put it short, the Black Order was a musical phenomenon, even before _The Band_ was created.

-

Lavi and Kanda had worked together before being recruited by the order. Long before Lavi had discovered his passion for drums he played saxophone at a bar called"Bookman", owned by an old man who, himself, was known as Bookman. What Kanda had done before reaching the bar was unknown, as he had no known relations, and really, small talking about his past wasn't really Kanda's way. In any case, he had shown up at the Bookman bar one night -"Lookin' like some sorta starved n' wet cat, a real pissed one" according to Lavi, and asked for a job as a pianist. Bookman, though reluctant at first, had agreed after hearing his undeniably skilled playing. So began"the beautiful friendship between Yuu and me" or, as Kanda liked to call it,"a whole fucking year with that stupid fucking rabbit".

After an incredibly successful year of playing at the bar, they had been discovered by the Black Order, and brought there, for better and worse. Lavi, after running around the whole building, documenting every room and hall, had gone to Kanda's room, to try and pursue him into having dinner. From the rumours he'd heard running around the building, the chef was amazing. After his knock not being answered he went inside, only to hear the sound of running water and a mumbling noise that he, after straining his ears, realised came from behind the bathroom door. As Lavi crept closer to the door the water was turned off, and the distinct sound of singing could be heard. In fact, it was such sweet singing that Lavi was rendered unable to move, trying to process the obvious fact that the _singing_ came from _Kanda_. He remained frozen as the bathroom door opened, revealing a slightly damp, but very, very naked Kanda, drying his long hair and singing softly. That was until he realized that a certain redheaded someone was standing before him, using his scarf to stop the wildly flowing blood from under his nose. They stared into each other's surprised eyes for a second before Lavi removed his scarf and said, with a wide grin, "Yuu, you can _sing"_. This caused Kanda's state of shock to break, as he went from red, to white, and back to red, before uttering a roar of anger and began his chase of Lavi. Of course, the damage was already done, and as soon as he was let out of the hospital, Lavi scurried up to Komui's office to tell him the happy news. From that moment on, the countdown for Kanda's trip to hell began.

-

The name _Innocence_ was nothing more than a proof of Komui's sister complex, and Lenalee's hidden manipulative abilities. _The Band_ had gathered in Komui's office, Komui behind his desk, Lenalee serving coffee, Lavi and Allen comfortably seated in the wooden chairs and Kanda standing a few meters back, leaning against a giant pile of un-read papers, wearing a look of disinterest that would put even a brick wall to shame.

"So," Komui started,"now now that everyone's position in the band is decided," at this another line was added to Kanda's frown,"all that is left is to come up with a name. Any suggestions?"

Lavi, always the eager one, jumped up in excitement,"Oh! I know! How 'bout… Exorcists!"

"Hm…" Allen mused," I think it's kinda cool, I like it!"

" Tch, beansprout…" was the creative response from Kanda,"…but the name's ok, I guess"

Everyone turned to Lenalee, waiting for her answer. "Well…" She mused," I really do like the name, Lavi. But I was thinking a bit about the name Innocence. It's cute, don't you think?"

Everyone's eyes turned to Komui, who was quiet for a second, only to give the illusion that he was even considering discussing the names, before saying "Innocence it is, good choice, Lenalee-chan!".

Lavi and Allen shared a gloomy look while Kanda turned on his heels in a swirl of black hair, marching out of the office. Lenalee just smiled sweetly behind her cup of coffee as Komui wrote down the name.

-

The creation of Innocence was a result of raised competition from their biggest, and in all honesty, only, concurrent - The Earl. He had just released his newest creation, a band called The Noah. With a small girl, called Road, in front, a handsome bassist, two brats on guitar and a fierce looking drummer – the Noah had gotten the attention of both music-critics and fangirls.

Komui had decided to meet hard with hard, as he said over lunch," what does the Earl have that we don't? Granted, Kanda might not be a little girl, but he is twice as pretty and has the voice of an angel-" at this a pair of chopsticks were broken in half two tables down"- Allen's 'Crown Clown' beats those punkish boys, what Lavi is missing in size he'll simply have to make up in skill, and, of course, we have my wonderful Lenalee!".

It was the first time the Order had actually put together a whole band, making Innocence somewhat historical. Several times two or more artists had teamed up on tours (Miranda's and Marie's violin and organ concerts were always a huge success), but never before had they had a real band. This led every artist and finder of the order to get into high spirits, determined to create the perfect band. Lavi, Lenalee and Allen were given as part of the band, they were without doubt the best at their respective instruments, and were already quite well known. They were also close friends and used to jamming together whenever they had the possibility, sharing tips and tricks to each other's abilities.

Then came the question of finding a suitable vocalist. Kanda had been the given choice until they realized that nobody, except Lavi, had actually heard him sing. Every rumour about his fantastic voice was based solely on Lavi's one –accidental- overhearing. Kanda, of course, denied every accusation of him being able to sing, but even so, after ignoring, cursing and throwing various tantrums, he found himself bound from shoulder to feet in a chair, surrounded by hopeful faces. Faces that began creeping closer once they realized that he couldn't hurt them. Kanda decided that he definitely didn't approve of the evil glints that were starting to lighten up one pair of eyes after the other. One particularly brave finder came to close for comfort:

"Look, he's completely harmless, now I can finally touch his hai- Ouch! He bit me!"

Deep inside, Kanda grinned a wicked grin. Kanda Yuu was _never_ harmless.

" Now, now, children, stop groping Yuu and stand back. Remember, we have a mission". Lavi had effectively stepped between Kanda and the finder. " Yuu, you won't mind singin' us a little tune would ya? How 'bout somethin' from the bar? I'll even play it for you…"

As Lavi started moving towards the black, elegant piano in the corner of the room, Kanda growled, " Don't you dare put your filthy paws on Mugen, oi, Lavi!"

The redhead just smiled and sat down in front of the piano, cracking his fingers. Throwing a pointed look in Kanda's direction, he started playing an old tune, one that used to be a favourite when they worked at the Bookman. Glancing to the side, he could see their audience slowly backing off as the dark clouds above Kanda continued to spread. " Come on now, Yuu, the faster you get this over with, the sooner I'll stop touching Mugen…"

The slight dipping of Kanda's head marked his defeat, as he opened his mouth and let the words flow out. The lyrics practically sang themselves from his mouth, after having heard them in his head every time he played the song at the Bookman. It is safe to say that the only person, except Kanda himself, that didn't suffer from sudden shock, was Lavi, whose grin became wide enough to resemble a Cheshire cat. The voice that filled the room, intertwining with the playful piano, didn't sound like anything anyone in their right mind would ever associate with Kanda. Granted, no one had really heard a longer flow of words from Kanda before. He usually growled, or grumbled, or bit out short sentences, making it hard to appreciate the true qualities of his voice. Like how smooth it was, that it could dip into a deep sound, rich like dark chocolate, before climbing up to a tone up that was light and hopeful. Allen unconsciously wiped off a trail of drool from his chin. Most surprising of all was how Kanda seemed to put so much meaning into the words, making it seem like the lyrics were coming directly from his heart (which they most certainly weren't). When the song ended, and the last quivering tones of the piano had rung out, the room was deathly quiet. Komui was the first react, coughing slightly and confirming what everyone was thinking,"I guess we've found our vocalist". Kanda slowly turned his head, fixing the staring crowd with a cold glare,"_ fuck_ no".

Which is why he, two months later, found himself on a stage in Germany, staring at the masses of people below him, screaming their names.

-

While their anticipated first show crept closer, Kanda's life inched bit by bit towards a living hell. It wasn't even the musical part that was the worst. Singing came as naturally to him as playing Mugen, and despite the annoyance he felt from even looking at Allen and Lavi, they were capable musicians and knew what they were doing. Which meant that their training sessions went relatively smoothly. It was the other episodes, such as the "trying out clothes", that made Kanda wish that he could rip his own vocal cords out, just to get away from it.

"Allen, what do you think? The pink one or the green one?"

"Er, I think you look cute in both, Lenalee, but the green one does look a bit-"

"Yeah, the decorations on the green are much nicer, I think I'll go with that one"

"…I was going to say a bit short"

"Shh, Allen, just be happy that ya got out of the situation smoothly"

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Lenalee can be scary sometimes…"

Especially when it came to clothes. Usually, Lenalee was very down-to-earth, friendly with everyone in the Order and professional when it came to music. But every girl had to have one weakness, and in Lenalee's case it just happened to be having a closet full of beautiful Chinese-style dresses, waiting to be tried on. All because the occasion of their first photo-shoot. The original idea had been to create a uniform for the whole band to wear. Unfortunately that idea had crashed headfirst into a wall thanks to Allen's 'crown clown', a very striking assemble of a white cap, shoulders decorated with feathers, long, arm length gloves and, to top it all off, a silver mask. The clothes were a heritage from his adoptive father, Mana, who had taught him how to play guitar. Allen prompt refused to be without them, in a most polite manner, of course, which lead Lenalee to confess that the dark robes were a bit dull, and that she'd rather wear something a bit more colourful. Naturally, with half of the band not the wearing the uniform, Lavi saw no reason to wear it himself, and stated that he'd rather have something that fit his eye patch, something a bit more "pirate".

So, while those responsible for the clothes section scurried to and fro, handing those who had decided on what they wanted to wear piles of items to try on, Kanda was struggling not to have an attack of rage. There were several reasons for his anger at the moment. First off all was the constant state of irritation and self-loathing (which didn't get better by the fact that he was singer in a fucking pop band) that caused his mood to always be on the "negative" side. Then there was the fact that he had been disturbed in the middle of his meditation to go and try out _clothes. _Lastly he was surrounded by shitload of people, screaming in his ears, nagging about what he wanted to wear. His clenched fists started to shake with effort from not hitting something, anything.

"I don't fucking _care_ what I wear, I'll just go with this I'm wearing now"

"Yuu-chaaan, ya kno' ya look real good in that tank top, but how 'bout something a bit more...flashy?"

"No. And don't call me that."

"Oi, Kanda, stop being an idiot. Or have you tied your headband to tight again?"

"What was that, beansprout? Why don't you go put on your makeup or something"

"I would, but a certain diva is taking such time deciding on clothes that this photo-shoot is really late"

"Why you little-"

"Guys, stop it. Kanda-kun, what would you say about wearing something traditional Japanese?"

"Yeah! I bet Yuu would look real cute in a kimono!"

"Stupid rabbit, I wouldn't wear a fucking-"

At this point a dresser decided that it would be wise interrupt the escalading discussion.

"Why don't you wear the uniform we designed? You can wear your...tank top...under the jacket, if you want".

Before anyone had time to protest, she motioned frantically to a heap of designers that ran to get the item in question. What they carried back was a long, dark, leather jacket, with silver seams and a pair of high leather shoes.

Allen and Lavi took one look at the outfit before sniggering,

"A-All that leather..."

"A long leather cap...just like batman"

At this Lavi started laughing so hard tears came to his eyes,

"Hahaha, I kno', dododo dododo, Kanda-man!"

Kanda's glare quickly turned from the clothes to the laughing pair,

"One more word and I'll crush you both under Mugen"

Lenalee decided that it was time to act up, "Stop teasing Kanda, you two. Why don't you try on the clothes, Kanda-kun, and see how it feels?" She gave him a look that clearly stated that he didn't have a choice, so he shrugged on the jacket and pulled on the boots.

The jacket fit like a glove, the smooth, dark leather made Kanda's pale skin stand out, and his cold eyes a shade darker. The boots were skin-tight and hugged his calf like a second skin. Kanda moved around, testing, and gave a grunt of approval, "Tch, I guess it's quite comfortable".

His audience quickly wiped the drool off their chins and nodded eagerly.

"Great, now that everyone knows what to wear, head for the next room and we'll get these shoots over with".

After an hour of being pulled around in different positions, and being told to smile ("or at least, for the love of god, stop looking like you want to kill me!"), Kanda once again cursed his life.

-

Kanda closed his eyes and let his body flow to the music. Not dance, god forbid that Kanda Yuu would ever dance (even though it might seem like he was to the thousands of people watching him). No, Kanda only moved his body, and it just happened to be in the rhythm of the song. He felt a presence to his right, getting closer and closer, along with the steadily increasing volume of the audiences screams. Allen pressed his back to him, showing off his skills and milking the solo for all it was worth, alongside pressing his body against Kanda's, swaying back and forth, before prancing off and into a wild series of spins, as the solo neared its end he once again ran to Kanda, throwing his arm around his shoulder. He then sang the chorus again together with Kanda, finishing with planting a quick kiss on his cheek, and a cheeky wink towards the audience, before jogging back to his designed spot on stage. Kanda counted one hundred and one ways to torture the bean sprout as he watched the guards struggle with the fainting fans, which were dropping like flies.

"Listen carefully, Walker, touch me like that one more time and you won't to live to see the next day". Kanda had Allen pressed against the wall in the corridor leading from the stage, the hysteric applauds and cries from the audience could still be heard. Allen shifted uncomfortably under Kanda's grip, cursing his length, "Relax, grumpy, I'm not trying to put a dent on your virtue, it's just fan service, you know. That's the reason for creating this band at all, _pleasing the fans_". Unfortunately, this statement didn't help Kanda's mood at all, as he tightened his grip on Allen's collar. He opened his mouth to snarl a reply when a he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Isn't that a bit harsh, Yuu. Allen was just doing what the chief told him to". Kanda's eyes widened in understanding, "Komui, that incompetent idiot!". He quickly let go of Allen and stalked away without another word.

"Thanks for getting me out of that one, Lavi", Allen said, rubbing his neck, "I just couldn't stop myself. It's too bad you sit at the back of the stage, you should see some of the faces Kanda does when he sings, I mean, I'm not gay, but damn, I understand those fangirls of his". As they wandered side by side down the corridor, Lavi, for the first time ever, regretted being the drummer.

Leaving the concert-building without being trampled was a huge effort. Despite fences and guards that looked like shaved gorillas, the screaming crowds seemed to grow in strength whenever the band appeared. The formation they walked out in was determined after their first show. Allen came first, smiling, waving and signing as many of the waving autograph-books as possible. Then the rest came in a row, with Kanda in the middle. The reason for this was partly because it allowed Lavi and Lenalee to be friendly with the crowd and at the same time stop Kanda from attacking them in rage. Also, though this was kept as a quiet agreement, it was to protect Kanda from the fans. Naturally, being the singer and good-looking, Kanda was the target of the most fanatic fans, his stoic aura didn't, despite his hopes, help much either. Well situated inside the limousine, Kanda folded his arms over his chest and demonstratively stared out of the window. Whilst the others began chatting about tonight's performance, and tomorrows upcoming one, Kanda quietly cursed. He cursed The Earl, for creating his rockband, thus forcing the Black Order to do the same. He cursed Lavi for telling Komui that he could sing. He cursed Lenalee for coming up with a girly name like Innocence. He cursed Allen for existing and being plain annoying. He cursed again Allen, just for the heck of it (and for touching him on stage). He cursed every single one of their fans. Above all he cursed the fact that he still couldn't stop himself from singing in the shower.

-

Aaand cut!

That's all folks. I once again apologize for the lameness of this fic. It is the result of me listening to Shiro to Kuro (sung by Sakurai Takahiro, which just so happens to be the voice of Kanda) and getting a mental image of the guys in a band. This, combined with my deprived fangirl-in-denial, caused me to write this in the spur of the moment, which means that theres no plot, and the writing is so horrible it pains me to read it through (therefor there might be some mistakes, seeing as my spellchecking-thingy isn't working). But what can you do...

Please review! I'll take anything, but constructive critisicm is loved! I need to know if I should try writing something more, or if I should crawl back into my lurker-corner and forget this ever happened...

Over and Out.


End file.
